


yugen.

by GalRAD_Keith



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Earth, First Person, JOURNAL ENTRY, M/M, Older AU, Voltron, Wedding, dudes bein gays, mild homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-05 23:57:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12805191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalRAD_Keith/pseuds/GalRAD_Keith
Summary: A young man named Keith Kogane invites his father to his wedding. However, when his father does not approve of the marriage, the wedding day turns into Keith’s worst fear.





	1. JRNL.9/17

**Author's Note:**

> These journal entries are kind of short. I also wrote it the way I did because I imagine Keith to be, although very intelligent, somewhat of a lazy writer. So his entries are short and get to the point. There are some mild run-on sentences, and like I said, most journal entries will be short.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith talks about what his life is like back on Earth and tells an important event.

JRNL.9/17

 

   I am Keith. Keith Kogane. It’s been a long time since I’ve written in this, and it’s only the ninth entry, but I have a story to tell. When I became a paladin of Voltron, I was 18. Now, I’ve returned to Earth, and I am 22. My friends in space were… amazing. Their lives mattered so much more than mine, but when I almost sacrificed myself for the sake of the universe- they got mad at me. My friend Hunk cried, and Lance, another friend, shouted at me, but he was crying, too. He told me not to do it ever again.

   I’m glad I didn’t.

   Ever since I returned to Earth, things haven’t been too hard. Except for one day, but it wasn’t hard, it was more… emotional. That was the day Lance took me -just me- out for a fun day. We were dating, and he was such a wonderful guy to be around. He insisted on buying all this cool stuff I didn’t need, and when I told him no, he got a bit frustrated. He told me that he loved me very much and wanted to make me happy. I told him he can do that by not spending so much money on me. He told me he already did.

   “What?” I remember saying. I was really confused and a little anxious. I have to admit my stomach did a few flips.

   I can’t recall _exactly_ what Lance said, but he took my hand and dragged me out of the store. He sat me down on the fountain, and I remember looking at my watch. It was four in the afternoon, when they sky’s orange and pink and blue and all those pretty colours. He knew I loved that. Then Lance started to speak, and like I said, I don’t remember all that he said.

   “You know I love you,” I’m pretty sure he said that. “And I want what’s best for you.” And I can’t say everything that he said because I’m not Lance. But I won’t forget what he did after.

   Lance kissed me really lightly and I smiled. I got butterflies in my stomach. That always happens when Lance kisses me. Then he took my hand and the look in his eyes made me shiver. They were practically burning.

   “So, Keith,” Lance had said.

   “Yeah?” I said. I remember being confused, so I raised an eyebrow. He nearly crushed my hand, but what he did next shook me to the core- my heart. It nearly burst out of my chest when he asked me this:

   “Will you-” Lance pulled out a small purple box and clicked it open. “Will you marry me?”

   I remember gasping for breath as tears practically ran down my face and I covered my mouth with my hands and I just shut my eyes and nodded my head really fast. I was too shocked to say anything for a few seconds.

   “Y- Yeah,” I felt like I was choking. “Yes, Yes!” I remember Lance laughed at how surprised I was. “I look stupid don’t I? I’m an ugly crier.”

   “Shut up,” He mumbled. I remember this because he mumbled it into my shoulder and it came out muffled. “I love you so, so much.”

   “Me too,” I sniffled. I hated how I cried because tears wouldn’t stop and snot kept running down my nose and I couldn’t stop making noises. I remember hearing some people cheering and clapping.

   When we got home Shiro was concerned because he ran up to Lance and I with questions. He asked why I was crying and why we were out so late. He sounded like a dad. Lance said,

   “We were out so late because we wanted to have fun.”

   “Okay. Keith, why are you crying?”

   I looked at Shiro and I think I smiled?

   “Because Lance proposed to me at the fountain.” Lance just had a smug grin as Shiro probably shorted out like an electrical socket.

   “Wait- wait, wait-” Shiro was laughing. He hugged me and screamed at Lance in a happy way. “Congrats! Jesus, now I’m gonna have a brother-in-law!”

   “What’s going on?” I think Pidge asked that. “Why did I hear shouting?”

   “Pidge, gather everybody in one room. We have some news.”

   And then I remember everybody sitting in the kitchen at the table and I was holding onto Lance and he was just smiling like crazy while Shiro was shushing everybody.

   “So… what’s the news?” Hunk asked. I looked at Lance and he nodded at me.

   “Lance and I… he…” I struggled to find words. “Lance proposed to me. At the fountain. Today.” I kept adding onto my sentences so they would make sense. Everybody looked so surprised that I thought they were going to scream at me just like Shiro did (in a happy way). I was right.

   “Congratulations guys!” Hunk ran from the table and hugged Lance and I to death. But that was okay. Pidge just smiled and clapped. She cheered a little, too.

   “Hey, do you think Allura could come to the wedding?” Pidge had asked.

   “I think so,” I had said. “And Hunk can be the best man for you, Lance.”

   “You read my mind, babe,” Lance had laughed, nudging me.

   “Well Shiro, you can be my best man.” I remember Shiro throwing his hands in the air and chanting, quote,

   “FUCK YES!” And then Matt walked through to door and questioned everything. When we explained it to him, Shiro and Matt high-fived and Matt had to pay Shiro ten bucks. Apparently they were betting on who would propose.

   So yeah. Now I have to go plan for a wedding. The biggest and bestest (is that a word?) day of my life.

   This is Keith, a husband-to-be, signing out.


	2. JRNL.10/17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith talks about what he did for a day with Lance and when the wedding will be.

JRNL.10/17

 

   Hey again. It’s been a few months. Now it’s December. Lance wanted to have the wedding in December because he knew I loved snow and if it snowed on our wedding he knew that I would be happy. I knew he liked warm places though so I told him I wanted _him_ to be happy and that he was doing too much for me. He laughed and told me he loved winter too and he didn’t mind. I was glad he liked winter too so I asked if we could cuddle when it got cold and then make hot chocolate. He smiled and said I was cute and that we could have our own time whenever we want.

   “Thanks,” I said. Lance smiled and his eyes looked really nice. I thought they were gems for a second because they were shining really bright. I love gems. I also love Lance (but that’s obvious because I’m marrying him in December [and it’s November]).

   “I’m gonna tell my dad about the wedding,” I said. Lance asked me a question.

   “You didn’t do that in August? I told my parents right away. They got really excited.”

   I looked at him and I really wanted to tell him my dad didn’t like gay people because it was wrong in his eyes but I decided I would tell him later because Lance might’ve gotten upset. But I actually told him after a long silence and he looked really mad.

   “Seriously?” I thought he was mad at me for a second and my chest really hurt and I wanted to shrink away but Lance noticed how I looked. “I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at your dad,” He sighed. I breathed out and kind of trembled because when Lance is mad you really need to run because he’ll hit you with common sense and he’ll make you feel really stupid but that’s okay because some people really are stupid. But I know I’m not stupid and so does Lance so he doesn’t really get mad at me except for that one time I almost died. He yelled at me and I just wanted to disappear because I thought I did a good thing but apparently it wasn't. But Lance apologized to me and said he was just concerned for my safety.

   “Why are you mad at him? He didn’t really do anything bad. It’s just what he believes, I guess, does it really matter?”

   “You bet it matters, and your dad doesn’t seem like a very good person,” Lance mumbled. I asked him why and he said it was because he didn’t support his own son.

   “He doesn’t know I’m gay or that I’m getting married to a guy.” I said, shrugging.

   “Oof,” Lance sighed. “Well, he’ll have to deal. We’re getting married no matter what, because I spent a whole lot on that damn ring.”

   “Speaking of the ring,” I showed him my hand with the engagement ring on it. It had a blue gem and a red gem on it with a purple gem in the middle. “What gems are these?”

   “A sapphire, a ruby, and a purple garnet” Lance smiled. “I picked them out because you’re red and I’m blue. And together,” Lance kissed me on the nose and pointed at the garnet. “We make purple.”

   “That’s really cute,” I whispered.

   “Thank you, for I am a poetic genius!” Lance was being dorky again and he grinned really wide so I had to laugh because he’s really funny. I love him a whole lot because he’s just a really wonderful guy. I just hope my dad doesn’t disown me. He probably will, though. Sometimes, just sometimes- I’m right.

   Lance and I kept having a really fun day because we both went to the park and I pointed out an ice cream place and I know how much he loves ice cream. So we both get there and guess what? Hunk is one of the employees! He saw us and he waved and he tried to let us have the ice cream for free but I didn’t want to just take it so I kept trying to give him the money and Lance was trying not to laugh really loud. Hunk was trying to be polite so I sighed and I put the money back in my wallet but I told him next time I would pay for the ice cream. He smiled at the word next time.

   Lance got blue ice cream and he let me try a little a bit. It was really good. I just got chocolate but of course I let Lance have some. He really liked it too.

   After the ice cream we spent some time at the fountain. I gave him three pennies and I gave myself three pennies so we could wish. You’re not supposed to say what you wished for but since I already got some of what I wished for I think it’s okay. I wished for a really nice day, an amazing wedding (which I hope it is), and a cat because I love cats. Lance is a dog person but he really likes cats too because they’re “a fluff ball of love” (according to Shiro, an extreme cat grandma). Cats are nice because they don’t slobber likes dogs or bark but they scratch and mew, so they’re not that different. Birds are another story.

   Then, to conclude the day, Lance took me to a florist’s shop and we just looked at a bunch of pretty flowers. He told me that we could both start thinking what the bouquet should look like. I suggested roses, morning glories, and lavender because of the red, blue, and purple thing. Lavender flowers also smell really good. Lance really liked my idea so we started thinking about how many flowers we would need but we shouldn’t buy them right now because they’d obviously wilt. Plus, the wedding is on Christmas, and I don’t think the flowers would last that long because even though it’s the end of November, the flowers would die in a few weeks. So we have that figured out. The only things left to do is tell my dad about who I’m marrying and when. I’m nervous, but it’ll be worth it in the end, I know it. You gotta fight for your right to party, but in this case, it’s “You gotta fight for your right to marry a guy if you’re a guy too”. The Beastie Boys have nice quotes.

   This is Keith, a little bit nervous, signing out.


	3. JRNL.11/17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is frustrated about his father and tells what happened between him and his father earlier in the day.

JRNL.11/17

 

   I hate this, I hate that. Stupid dad, stupid life, stupid me. I told him, yeah, but he reacted the way I thought he would… and for once, I knew I would get something, but I didn’t want it. My dad just looked at me weirdly and asked me what I wanted to tell him. I’ll just write from there about what happened because I don’t really feel like going into too much detail (but I might, story-wise).

   “Keith? What is it?”

   “Uh, hey dad, I um… have some news.”

   “Mm?”

   At this point I got cottonmouth and I hated it a whole lot. “I’m getting married in December. The proposal was in August.”

   “Well, would you look at that? My son’s getting married, woo!” I could tell he was really happy because he raised his eyebrows and grinned a little and stood up and hugged me. He let me go and asked me another question. “Who’s the lucky lady?”

   I swallowed. “Well, uh, they’re really nice and funny and sweet and stuff?”

   “What’s her name?”

   “I- I uh..."

   “Go on sport, no need to feel shy. I’m happy for ya.”

   “Well, for starters… _his_ name is Lance.”

   My father stopped smiling and narrowed his eyes. " _His_?"

   “Yeah, _his_ ,” I didn’t even look at him. “ _He_ proposed to me in August.”

   “God dammit, why did I get a gay son,” He whispered, hitting the wall. “Get out.” He didn’t even look at me.

   “Don’t you want to come to the wedding?” I was desperate. My dad was the only family member I had with me.

   “No. You’re not my son.” He looked at me funny and grit his teeth and my heart sank and it started beating really fast. “You are _not_ my son. Get. out. I will not tolerate this. This isn't right. This is immoral.”

    So I got frustrated and cursed at him. I ran out the door trying not to cry. I failed. It hurt to keep the tears back so I let them out. I kept wiping my eyes and running back to the house my friends and I all shared. My face kept getting more wet from the tears, even when I ran through the door. I heard Lance first and he ran up to me so I just clung onto him and cried as much as I could without soaking his shirt. He kept asking me what was wrong but I kept crying.

   “Babe, please, what's wrong? I can't help if I don't know.” Lance whispered.

   “Dad,” I sniffled but I kept crying and I couldn’t talk right. "It's my dad. He’s- he's not coming to the wedding. He... disowned me, I think.”

   Lance made a really pissed off noise and he let me go and stormed around the living room going on a rant and he had really good points. I thought that I could take him to my dad’s house so he could talk to him and hit him with common sense. My dad needs it anyways. He’s stupid. Really stupid.

   So Lance told everybody that I got upset because my dad wouldn’t go to the wedding and everybody got mad too but I told them not to get mad because it didn’t really matter but I knew I was lying to myself so I could feel better. I usually do that but I haven’t done it after we got back to Earth because I’m really happy here. Now this is the first time I’ve done it and I’m not happy.

   Then Lance made me hot chocolate because he knew I liked it but he made it with water instead of milk because I’m lactose intolerant. I thought I wouldn’t like it and Lance thought so too, but he made himself hot chocolate with water as well so that we could both have 'bad hot chocolate'. It tasted good this time, actually. But I thought I wouldn’t like it because one time at I got chocolate powder packets to make hot chocolate and gave them to Shiro. He made some and... it wasn’t hot chocolate. It was hot brown water and Lance hated it too. Shiro put the cocoa powder in even though the water was more than six liters or ounces or something so then the stuff tasted real bad. So now I can’t trust him with it. The only drink with powder he can make is kool-aid.

   But I cuddled with Lance on the couch and I fell asleep. Then I woke up and it was snowing really lightly and I got really excited to I picked up my journal and started writing in it and I even doodled some snowflakes. But they’re just circles so it’s not really artistic.

   Also Lance sounds really cute when he’s sleeping. He snores quietly and he whistles and it’s funny. I love him a lot and even though I say it all the time that means I _really_ really love him. And that’s a good thing.

   So even though my dad doesn’t approve of the wedding, I don’t have to listen to him because I guess I’m an adult. Lance is 20 and I’m 22 (I think I already wrote that) so we’re both adults. We don’t have to listen to my stupid dad and his stupid beliefs. And that’s a good thing. A really, _really_ good thing. I love you, Lance, even though you probably can’t and won’t read this.

   This Keith, happy and content, signing out.


	4. JRNL.12/17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith talks about how excited and nervous he is for the wedding. He also lists a new couple he recently found out about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEADS UP:
> 
> Mild Pillura and Shatt. Hunk and Shay are also a couple in this.

JRNL.12/17

 

   It’s December now; December 10th, and I’m already panicking. Allura and I went out to try and find a nice tuxedo, but we just kept finding black ones, and the colours Lance and I chose for the wedding were red and blue. I was having a hard time trying to find red and I kept finding all these blues and I was getting really frustrated but Allura said that we already have the bouquet planned out and even if the wedding is in FIFTEEN DAYS it’s alright because we’ll find something. Then I found a maroon-ish tuxedo and then a red one so I thought it was a miracle and Allura was some kind of god. When I told her that she laughed and said she wasn’t.

   Allura _did_ visit from space and so did Coran but they landed the Castle in a really pretty meadow and then they had some shocking news and everybody cheered and was happy. Allura and Coran were going to stay on Earth with us and Allura announced that she was going to be moving into an apartment with Pidge and it turns out Pidge and Allura really like each other and I thought that was really cute. And Shiro and Matt were already the probable parents of what we called the “Voltron House”, so basically everybody knew that they liked each other. Hunk was really cheery and still in contact with his girlfriend Shay, and they constantly called each other and had little conversations and everybody thought it was adorable, so Lance called Shay one day to invite her to the wedding and get this: Shay started the call with,

   “Hey Hunky bear! What’s new?” And Lance smiled really big because it was really cute.

   “This is Lance, I’ll get Hunk on the phone later,” And Lance invited Shay and she accepted because she was really excited and she also wanted to see Hunk.

   So it doesn’t really bother me that my dad isn’t coming (it still bothers me a little bit) because some of my space friends are coming to the wedding and I’m hoping it’ll make me feel happy.

   Allura talked about inviting the Arusians but Shiro didn’t really want to because there were a whole lot of them and he has anxiety issues (so do I) thanks to the Galra so yeah thanks Galra for taking the Dad Bean™ and giving him anxiety (and a robot arm, scar, and white hair).

   So Lance already has his tuxedo picked out and it’s really pretty baby blue and when I saw it I just stared at it and I said it was really pretty. Lance thanked me but he said I wasn’t supposed to see it so I felt bad but he told me it’s okay and that I accidentally saw.

   Allura and I got the dark red tuxedo and on the 23rd we’re going to get the bouquet. I told her I’m really nervous but she said that’s okay and it’s to be expected for newly-weds, but I’m not married yet so technically I’m a groom-to-be or a husband-to-be. I said that’s too many terms so we both just laughed.

   When I got back home, I immediately went up to Lance and hugged him from behind but he wasn’t surprised because I always do that. I’m worried that I’m way too clingy and I told Lance that but he says I might be like that because I’m lacking love and I just want to show affection to somebody who has the same feelings for you and I remember smiling because that was one of the nicest things I’ve ever heard him say. The nicest thing he said to me was that we make a good team. I’ll never forget that because we’re a serious team now. A married team?

   Yeah, that’s basically all I have to say I guess. Fifteen days until marriage. I can’t believe it. I really can’t believe it. I can’t believe it because I never knew that I would actually get married. So, thank you Lance, for everything you’ve done for me. You are the greatest thing that I have ever seen and interacted with. I really, really love you.

   This is Keith, probably drooling over my soon-to-be-husband, signing out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WAS WRITING THIS AND I GOT A SUGGESTION FOR ARUSIANS IT SAID
> 
> "did you mean  
> Russians"
> 
> AND I WHEEZ E D


	5. JRNL.13/17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith completes his writing and wonders if anyone else is reading. Along the way, he recalls a special moment during the reception.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhh i'm sorry u beautiful raisins i was so lat e
> 
> i had a lot of stuff to do christmas day and i tried to fit stuff in on the 24 but aaaaaaaaaaaa
> 
> on the 26 i was lazy and forgot so HERE YOU GO!!
> 
> las t chapter for yugen let's fugjfhdsj g o

JRNL.13/17

 

   The wedding went so… well. Better than imagined. But the part where the priest says the thing, “Do you, such and such, take blah blah as your husband?”... I got so embarrassed in front of everyone. I was asked first, and I almost had a breakdown. I started fumbling my words and finally said “I do” after what seemed like five million years. After that, Lance chuckled and held my hands. Something- maybe his eyes- told me it was going to be okay.

   Lance was amazing. His response was loud and clear, and he stared right at me when he said it. I  _ did  _ look at him- after a few seconds. God, it was so nerve wracking. But it all came to peace when the priest said that we could kiss. It sounded a little rebellious coming from an important figure in religion. I remember Lance smiling and holy shit- I swear, every light in the world was behind his eyes. I wanted to kiss him so badly- and I was suppose to! So, like a good, uh, person, I leaned right in.

   Lance hugged me during the kiss, and everything was so, so warm. And I was so, so happy.

 

  _So I didn’t understand why I felt so sad when I looked out into the crowd and saw that my dad wasn’t there._

_    I knew he wasn’t coming. _

_    Why did it weigh me down? _

 

   Lance saw me and hugged me tighter, then told me everything was going to be okay and that my father was just selfish. I laughed and said that it must be so.

   The reception wasn’t anything too fancy, but it was enjoyable. Hunk cried a lot at the wedding, and he cried a lot at the reception. It was funny, really, because he was just so happy. Shiro had a genuine smile on his face for once, instead of that smug grin of knowing. That was nice. Pidge, however, had the grin.

   Damn gremlins.

   Lance was really cheery, and he went out greeting a lot of people, and he asked me if I wanted to come along. I knew I would get bombarded with questions so I stayed behind. I didn’t want to leave him, but I didn’t want to get too active. He sighed and looked really sad, but said it was okay.

   I grabbed his arm and demanded he start having fun. _No boy should ever look so sad on his wedding night._ ** _Not on my watch._** (I almost broke my pencil, yeesh)

   Lance laughed and said I didn’t have to, but I said I wouldn’t let him down. I was his new husband, after all. Lance smiled and it made me smile, too. We just stood there for a bit. Smiling.

   “I kinda want to kiss you right now.” Lance had said. I felt warm.

   “I really want to kiss you right now.” I said, laughing. We did kiss, and it was great. It was soft, sweet, and warm. Typical of Lance- not saying it’s a bad thing.

   We walked together for a bit, greeting old pals, saying hellos, goodbyes, and all that jazz. But eventually, Shiro gave us a toast, everyone cheered, and it was all fun.

   There was one part of the night that will always stick with me, though.

   There was slow music playing, and almost everybody was dancing with a partner. When I was dancing with Lance, I couldn’t help but speak my mind.

   “It still bothers me that my dad didn’t show up, all because I married a dude,” Lance smiled and looked at me. “No offense. I love you a whole lot.” Then Lance said some pretty amazing things.

   “Keith, when I was a lot younger, I dreamed of marrying the most beautiful woman, and loving her forever and ever. I would have kids with her, I would cook with her, I would garden with her, and I would live in a beautiful house with her,” Lance said. He looked so happy, remembering his childhood.

   “But you didn’t get that,” I had whispered. He heard me.

   “You’re right. I married a beautiful man, and I’m going to love him forever and ever. I’m gonna cook with him, even though he’ll probably burn everything, which is okay, and we could both have a garden. Kids, well- kids are an option.”

   “I don’t like children that much, but I’d be okay with just one.” I remember laughing while saying that.

   “That’s fine. But Keith,” Lance leaned in real close. “Don’t ever forget what I said, okay? And don’t you  _ dare  _ doubt yourself so much. I trust you. I  _ believe  _ in you.” Lance kissed me quickly. “I love you.”

   “I love you too,” I whispered.

   Writing this- my story, my feelings, almost everything- has made me feel so much better… I wonder if, in the future, my kid or maybe even grand kid is going to find this. I wonder what they’ll think of reading. Or, what if a random person picks it up and starts to read it? And they read the whole thing?

   I don’t mind that. Neither does Lance. (I let him read it, he likes it. What he doesn’t like are all the run-on sentences. He said I would make a terrible teacher. I don’t want to be a teacher. Jokes on him, ha)

   But you, random person probably reading this, I guess I can thank you. Effort was put into this. I’d just like to thank you personally. Just a big old thank you.

   This is Keith, now a happy and content newly wed, signing out.  


 

  
p.s. Lance, if you're reading this, it's your turn to do the laundry! -Keith


End file.
